Friday April 13th was horrible. I came into work a mess. I was so emotional. The anxiety was getting the best of me. I couldnt concentrate on anything but the mess I was in.
A friend at work referred me to a doctor up in Midway, Dr. Moore. He called her and she was able to get me in right away. I left work early and headed up there. She was AMAZING. She talked to me about my problems. Found out what was causing my anxiety and gave me some natural supplements to help deal. So far they have taken some of the edge off. I still have trouble sleeping at night. Thats the thing that is driving me nuts. I cant sleep!! But I have total confidence in her that she will help me. We found out that the pain I was having in my back was due to my ribs being out of place!! Can you believe it - I have been dealing with this backpain for so long and she touches one spot in my back and knows whats going on.
So, to get over this anxiety that Im dealing with daily, it has to start with me. I have to get it out of my mind and start focusing on the NOW!! I have to stop dwelling on the fact that I have anxiety all day long. Eventually it will go away. I just have to "reprogram" my brain. And I can do it on my own. I dont need some crazy med that I have to take for months and deal with all the side effects. I can do it on my own and I will. Some days may be crazier than others but hoping I can get it under control!!
Monday, April 16, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
April 12, 2012
Last night was a good night. There was a nice breeze outside so we opened the windows and hung out. We had left overs so dinner wasnt challenging. I just cant eat. Im so nauseous. Nothing sounds good. But, I ate some applesauce and mashed potatoes. I couldnt finish them though. I took some Melatonin before bed which really relaxed me. Laid down with Kalynn and tried to doze off. But I couldnt!! Kalynn fell asleep and I took her to her bed. Brody was already in his bed. I tried to get myself to sleep but kept waking up so at 11 I went and took an Ativan. I only took 1/2 of one this time instead of a whole one. It relaxed me. I didnt get a completely peaceful sleep but at least I got some sleep.
I woke up naseous again. Its horrible. Morning was ok though. Really did well getting the kids ready for school. We got to daycare and everything was good. Brody really helped out this morning so it was nice.
I was so tired though. I had to take a pill for my naseous as soon as I dropped the kids off. All I want to do is go home and try to go to bed. I just wish I was better. I cant eat anything, it all makes me sick.
I woke up naseous again. Its horrible. Morning was ok though. Really did well getting the kids ready for school. We got to daycare and everything was good. Brody really helped out this morning so it was nice.
I was so tired though. I had to take a pill for my naseous as soon as I dropped the kids off. All I want to do is go home and try to go to bed. I just wish I was better. I cant eat anything, it all makes me sick.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
ANXIETY??
I never knew so many people dealt with this. Its such a horrible monster!! Not having control over yourself is crazy.
So let me start by telling you my story:
I started a low calorie diet on January 3, 2012. I weighed 163 pounds at the time. I tracked all my food using loseit! app on my phone. I did really well.
January 3, 2012 - 163 pounds
January 7, 2012 - 159 pounds
January 15, 2012 - 157 pounds
January 28, 2012 - 154 pounds
February 21, 2012 - 149 pounds
On February 13, 2012 while dropping my daughter off at daycare, I blacked out. It was for about 2-3 seconds but it scared me so bad.
Throughout the week my feet, hands and face started getting tingly. The top of my head would get tingly and I had pressure on the side of and top of my head. My heart was racing so fast and I thought I was dying.
I went to Urgent Care on February 20, 2012 and they said I had a sinus infection. They put me on sudafed and sent me on my way. I wasnt 100% convinced that that was my problem. I set up an apt to meet with a Family Practice Doctor the next day.
I met Dr. Goerl on February 21, 2012. My heart was racing so fast. My blood pressure was fluctuating high and low. He examined me and determined that I was severely dehydrated. Ok, I believe it... after all, I was on a low calorie diet and I wasnt drinking as much water as I shouldve.
So, I got some lab work done and went home with my bottle of water. I drank so much water and my heart calmed down but the pressure in my head did not.
On March 7, 2012 I went to a follow up appointment with Dr. Goerl. My lab work came back they found out that my potassium levels were low. I was .2 below the normal range and Dr. Goerl wasnt to concerned. He just gave me a list of foods to eat to raise that level to normal. Everything else looked good.
So I had been working on eating the right foods to raise my potassium level and staying hydrated. I thought I had it under control. Then, I started having issues going to the bathroom. I would be constipated and then Id have no problems going. I needed to stay hydrated and continue eating a healthy diet. I was trying so hard. Unfortunately, during this time a friend at work found out he had colon cancer. It was horrible. He had no idea. So, of course I get online and google "Colon Cancer". Symptoms were constipation, change in bowels, nausea etc. There were so many but these stuck out to me because they were things I was going through!! I convinced myself I had it.
March 26, 2012 ended up in the Emergency Room with a panic attack!! I lost it. I thought I was going to die. The pain in my back has intensified. They gave me an IV and some Ativan and sent me home.
March 27, 2012 I woke up with diarriah and I was so nauseous. Food doesnt seem appetizing and I cant eat anything without going to the bathroom. I went to the doctors because my back pain was worse. I had an examination by a different doctor because Dr. Goerl was out. He thinks I have a GI infection and sent me home.
I believed I had a GI infection because the kids both had diarriah as well. So, we all tried to stay hydrated and get better.
March 30, 2012 I was back at Dr. Goerls office having anxiety issues. He prescribed me Celexa. I was hesitant to take them because I was affraid of the side effects.
April 4, 2012 I took a Celexa. I took it at 8pm thinking it would help me sleep and oh my heck!! I was up all night. I had halucinations, trembling, dry heaving, dizziness. I couldnt think, I couldnt sleep. It was the worst feeling ever. My mom had to come to the house at 6am to get the kids because I couldnt even hold the baby I was spinning so bad.
Never will I go on Celexa again!! Now Im afraid of all kinds of medications!!
I was off of work April 5th and 6th. I stayed with my mom April 5th and she helped watch the kids while I tried to relax.
Saw Dr. Goerl April 6th. He said not to take the Celexa anymore and said he could prescribe something else. I told him at this point I wanted to try to manage this anxiety myself. Medication is scaring me.
April 6th started my insomnia. I couldnt sleep. I would sleep for 3-4 hours and wake up. It was a long night. April 7th was the same. Pacing the floors, trying to sleep. Nothing. April 8th I was worried. I knew if I didnt get sleep, it would be a really long hard day at work. But, nothing. I was awake every hour of the night. Could not sleep at all. I went to work Monday feeling horribly. All I wanted to do was sleep but I had to get through the day.
April 9th I really tried to psych myself out to get some sleep Monday night. I went home, took a nice bath, listen to my relaxing tapes. NOTHING!! I couldnt shut my brain off. It was running 100 miles an hour. And what was I thinking about - I have no idea. I couldnt even tell you. It was just buzzing!! So, I took an Ativan and a Tylenol PM and passed out.
I woke up nauseous and on edge. Worried about taking my kids to daycare. I dont know why but it makes me anxious. Im thinking its because a couple months ago a man tried sneaking up behind my car while I was getting the kids out. He scared me so bad and Brody wasnt listening to me. I was scared this guy was going to do something - BUT HE DIDNT. SO why does this bother me? Was it because Brody wouldnt listen when I told him to get out of the car? I dont know.
So, I did things as fast as I could, got out of the house and took them to daycare. Got to work and made it through the day.
April 10th After work I made a plan. I was going to try to have a good night. I went to Smiths got stuff for Spegetti and stuff for a nice bubble bath. I got some tea and a nice book to read. I went home, played with the kids for a bit, made dinner, cleaned the kitchen and then got the kids ready for bed. Layed in bed with the baby for a bit and then she fell asleep. I put her in her bed, took a nice bath. Drank my tea and thought - I was pretty relaxed. But when I went to lay in bed, nothing. I was up till about 10:30 just trying to make myself go to bed but the brain wouldnt shut off. So, I took an Ativan and fell asleep. Woke up feeling nauseaous and on edge again!!
So, here I am now. Im hoping to kick this anxiety in the butt without medication!! I hope to start falling asleep without the need for the Ativan anymore and I hope to get back to normal!! Everyday is a struggle. I get dizzy, I get nauseous, my eyes get blurry all day long. I get pressure in my head and I get this feeling of being on edge all day long. Sometimes I wake up and just lay there praying to be better and then I move and realize Im not and I just want to cry. Ive been bawling all day today... I just want to be back to normal!! I want to enjoy things again and not go crazy when my husband leaves in the morning before I do or worry about sleeping. What caused all this?? I have no idea i just need to focus on getting things CALM!
So let me start by telling you my story:
I started a low calorie diet on January 3, 2012. I weighed 163 pounds at the time. I tracked all my food using loseit! app on my phone. I did really well.
January 3, 2012 - 163 pounds
January 7, 2012 - 159 pounds
January 15, 2012 - 157 pounds
January 28, 2012 - 154 pounds
February 21, 2012 - 149 pounds
On February 13, 2012 while dropping my daughter off at daycare, I blacked out. It was for about 2-3 seconds but it scared me so bad.
Throughout the week my feet, hands and face started getting tingly. The top of my head would get tingly and I had pressure on the side of and top of my head. My heart was racing so fast and I thought I was dying.
I went to Urgent Care on February 20, 2012 and they said I had a sinus infection. They put me on sudafed and sent me on my way. I wasnt 100% convinced that that was my problem. I set up an apt to meet with a Family Practice Doctor the next day.
I met Dr. Goerl on February 21, 2012. My heart was racing so fast. My blood pressure was fluctuating high and low. He examined me and determined that I was severely dehydrated. Ok, I believe it... after all, I was on a low calorie diet and I wasnt drinking as much water as I shouldve.
So, I got some lab work done and went home with my bottle of water. I drank so much water and my heart calmed down but the pressure in my head did not.
On March 7, 2012 I went to a follow up appointment with Dr. Goerl. My lab work came back they found out that my potassium levels were low. I was .2 below the normal range and Dr. Goerl wasnt to concerned. He just gave me a list of foods to eat to raise that level to normal. Everything else looked good.
So I had been working on eating the right foods to raise my potassium level and staying hydrated. I thought I had it under control. Then, I started having issues going to the bathroom. I would be constipated and then Id have no problems going. I needed to stay hydrated and continue eating a healthy diet. I was trying so hard. Unfortunately, during this time a friend at work found out he had colon cancer. It was horrible. He had no idea. So, of course I get online and google "Colon Cancer". Symptoms were constipation, change in bowels, nausea etc. There were so many but these stuck out to me because they were things I was going through!! I convinced myself I had it.
March 26, 2012 ended up in the Emergency Room with a panic attack!! I lost it. I thought I was going to die. The pain in my back has intensified. They gave me an IV and some Ativan and sent me home.
March 27, 2012 I woke up with diarriah and I was so nauseous. Food doesnt seem appetizing and I cant eat anything without going to the bathroom. I went to the doctors because my back pain was worse. I had an examination by a different doctor because Dr. Goerl was out. He thinks I have a GI infection and sent me home.
I believed I had a GI infection because the kids both had diarriah as well. So, we all tried to stay hydrated and get better.
March 30, 2012 I was back at Dr. Goerls office having anxiety issues. He prescribed me Celexa. I was hesitant to take them because I was affraid of the side effects.
April 4, 2012 I took a Celexa. I took it at 8pm thinking it would help me sleep and oh my heck!! I was up all night. I had halucinations, trembling, dry heaving, dizziness. I couldnt think, I couldnt sleep. It was the worst feeling ever. My mom had to come to the house at 6am to get the kids because I couldnt even hold the baby I was spinning so bad.
Never will I go on Celexa again!! Now Im afraid of all kinds of medications!!
I was off of work April 5th and 6th. I stayed with my mom April 5th and she helped watch the kids while I tried to relax.
Saw Dr. Goerl April 6th. He said not to take the Celexa anymore and said he could prescribe something else. I told him at this point I wanted to try to manage this anxiety myself. Medication is scaring me.
April 6th started my insomnia. I couldnt sleep. I would sleep for 3-4 hours and wake up. It was a long night. April 7th was the same. Pacing the floors, trying to sleep. Nothing. April 8th I was worried. I knew if I didnt get sleep, it would be a really long hard day at work. But, nothing. I was awake every hour of the night. Could not sleep at all. I went to work Monday feeling horribly. All I wanted to do was sleep but I had to get through the day.
April 9th I really tried to psych myself out to get some sleep Monday night. I went home, took a nice bath, listen to my relaxing tapes. NOTHING!! I couldnt shut my brain off. It was running 100 miles an hour. And what was I thinking about - I have no idea. I couldnt even tell you. It was just buzzing!! So, I took an Ativan and a Tylenol PM and passed out.
I woke up nauseous and on edge. Worried about taking my kids to daycare. I dont know why but it makes me anxious. Im thinking its because a couple months ago a man tried sneaking up behind my car while I was getting the kids out. He scared me so bad and Brody wasnt listening to me. I was scared this guy was going to do something - BUT HE DIDNT. SO why does this bother me? Was it because Brody wouldnt listen when I told him to get out of the car? I dont know.
So, I did things as fast as I could, got out of the house and took them to daycare. Got to work and made it through the day.
April 10th After work I made a plan. I was going to try to have a good night. I went to Smiths got stuff for Spegetti and stuff for a nice bubble bath. I got some tea and a nice book to read. I went home, played with the kids for a bit, made dinner, cleaned the kitchen and then got the kids ready for bed. Layed in bed with the baby for a bit and then she fell asleep. I put her in her bed, took a nice bath. Drank my tea and thought - I was pretty relaxed. But when I went to lay in bed, nothing. I was up till about 10:30 just trying to make myself go to bed but the brain wouldnt shut off. So, I took an Ativan and fell asleep. Woke up feeling nauseaous and on edge again!!
So, here I am now. Im hoping to kick this anxiety in the butt without medication!! I hope to start falling asleep without the need for the Ativan anymore and I hope to get back to normal!! Everyday is a struggle. I get dizzy, I get nauseous, my eyes get blurry all day long. I get pressure in my head and I get this feeling of being on edge all day long. Sometimes I wake up and just lay there praying to be better and then I move and realize Im not and I just want to cry. Ive been bawling all day today... I just want to be back to normal!! I want to enjoy things again and not go crazy when my husband leaves in the morning before I do or worry about sleeping. What caused all this?? I have no idea i just need to focus on getting things CALM!
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